“Get to know your vibrator. Take it out of the package and learn how it works, how to charge it or what kind of batteries it takes. When it’s charged, play with the buttons, turn it on and off. How many speeds and settings does it have? Wash your vibrator well before using it; use warm water with a mild soap and rinse it well so that no residual soap remains. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery case. Check for sharp edges or seams.
“Start on your own. Even if you’re planning to use your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it out by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and you can really concentrate on how it feels. Make sure you have enough time and privacy. If you have roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, turn on some music, shut the blinds, and use blankets and comforters to mute the sound.
“Play with the lights turned on. Not everyone is comfortable with this suggestion, but I think playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ready for enjoyment and stimulation. You can use this information yourself and share with a lover when you’re ready.
“Turn the vibrator off before you turn it on. Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run it along your body without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin; press it onto you body and massage your muscles. If the vibrator is made of a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try it on top of your clothing. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle and non-threatening way to introduce your body to the vibrator.
“Move your vibrator from the outside in. Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your body; this will help you understand the vibration sensation. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, get a feel for the vibration all over your body, including touching the breasts and other areas that feel good. Slowly move to the more sensitive parts of your body.
“Don’t be in a rush: Explore every part of your body. Vibrators never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Many women find that one side or one part of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Don’t rush: Leaving a vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation connections that previously weren’t there. Adjust the speed, pressure, and angle of the vibrator. Most vibrators have multiple speed settings; always start on low and work your way up. Experiment with applying different pressure. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with clitoral stimulation.
“Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for it, there’s no reason not to try penetration. While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. Again, start slow and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first.
“There are just two things I caution women about: First, make sure you’re using the right lubricant with a vibrator. Silicone-based lubricants will degrade silicone vibrators. And if you’re sharing your vibrator outside of a monogamous relationship, put a condom on it.”
Sounds like good advice! And getting acquainted with a vibrator yourself will help you introduce it to your partner, too–which I’ll focus on in our next post.