A male reader wrote to me recently. He’s “turned on” at the thought of his wife using a vibrator and wants to incorporate it into their sex life. The problem is that his wife is “creeped out” at the thought and won’t consider it. This dilemma presents several issues that I think can be instructive to explore. [...]
Posts Tagged ‘sexual intimacy’
Turn-on? Or Creep-out?
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged exploration, sexual intimacy, vibrators on January 23, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
Q: Should I be comfortable with anal sex?
Posted in Questions...and answers, tagged intercourse, sexual intimacy, STIs on January 6, 2012 | 1 Comment »
Estimates say that up to a fifth of heterosexual couples have anal intercourse at least intermittently, more rarely exclusively. The risk of sexually transmitted infections is the same or perhaps higher with anal than with vaginal penetration. There’s more likelihood of trauma, since anal intercourse requires complete relaxation of the rectal sphincter muscles before penetration. Trauma [...]
Vibrators for Two
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, vibrators on November 25, 2011 | Comments Off
My conversations with patients, blog readers, and visitors to MiddlesexMD tell me that once a person’s gotten past her own discomfort with the idea of a vibrator, there can lurk another obstacle: How to introduce it to intimacy with a partner. I’ve heard from both men and women on this topic: Both have asked how to introduce a [...]
Q: How can I increase our success using a vibrator?
Posted in Questions...and answers, tagged sexual intimacy, sexual stimulation, vibrators on October 31, 2011 | 2 Comments »
I’m glad to hear that a vibrator has been helpful to you! Women our age often need extra stimulation for arousal and orgasm, and many find that a vibrator provides just what they need. If you’re looking for more, here are some things you might consider: A stronger motor: Not all vibrators are created equal. [...]
Sex and Cancer: The Body
Posted in Condition News, tagged breast cancer, cancer, chemotherapy, ovarian cancer, sexual intimacy, uterine cancer on October 10, 2011 | Comments Off
Here is the second part of our talk with Mary Jo Rapini, a therapist who specializes in intimacy counseling (the first part focused on the mind). She often receives referrals from oncologists who have treated women and men for cancers that, post-treatment, require a re-thinking, re-learning, re-framing of their intimate life. Says Mary Jo: When a [...]
Crank Up the Heat
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged connection, emotional intimacy, romance, sexual intimacy on September 30, 2011 | Comments Off
It’s the third Friday of the month, and you know the script by heart—half-hearted foreplay, missionary position, a quick (or not-so-quick) denouement, and your partner’s already snoring while you’re thinking about tomorrow’s chores. Routine is inevitable in long-term relationships. Routine can feel secure and orderly, but too much routine in the bedroom just feels boring. [...]
Try a Little Forgiveness
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged emotional intimacy, forgiveness, intimacy, sexual intimacy on September 24, 2011 | 1 Comment »
By the time women reach midlife, we’ve experienced all kinds of things in our relationships, some good, some bad. It’s great to think back on the positive experiences once in a while, maybe even relive them from time to time. For the negative experiences, that’s not such a good idea. And the more serious the [...]
Your House Is Not Your Own?
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged family, romance, sexual health, sexual intimacy on August 3, 2011 | Comments Off
Today, more and more women over age 50 are finding themselves sharing their households with parents and/or grown children. A recent article in the Atlantic magazine, “Grandma’s in the Attic, Junior’s in the Basement,” talks about the big jump in multi-generations living under one roof, from grandpa or grandma who move in to adult kids [...]
Taking Care of Yourself. Intimately.
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged sexual intimacy, stimulation, vaginal health on July 20, 2011 | Comments Off
As a medical doctor, I try to provide a place where uncomfortable or unfamiliar topics can be discussed in an open, honest way, without inhibitions or worries about “what people might think.” For lots of people, both men and women, self-stimulation or masturbation falls into that “uncomfortable” category. Some of the myths surrounding masturbation—like it [...]
He’s Got His Groove Back. O Happy Day?
Posted in The Good Stuff, tagged emotional intimacy, erectile dysfunction, sexual intimacy on June 6, 2011 | Comments Off
It’s been a long time since your partner’s been able to “get it up.” And truth be told, you’d grown accustomed to a platonic relationship. You haven’t missed the sex. Frankly, it was never all that great, anyway. Now, thanks to the marvels of medical science, your man’s erectile dysfunction is a thing of the [...]
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