Part 2 of 3
Of course, I can explain why we need more vulvo-vaginal stimulation at our age to nearly any woman in my office, and she may understand and fully accept what I’m telling her. But her next step is to go home and discuss this with her partner, if she has one.
Many times, at our age, we’re talking about spouses — sexual partners we’ve had for a very long time. And if that sexual partnership has not included the use of any sexual aids, bringing that first vibrator to bed can be a daunting change.
The truth is, we don’t know how our partners will respond to our need or desire to use a vibrator until we raise the subject. One good way to do that is to say — “Well, Dr. Barb said this could help.” Show your partner these blog posts, and browse the MiddlesexMD.com website together, where you’ll find lots of information that can help you communicate what your body is going through and what you and your partner can do about it to continue to enjoy your sex life.
It can help to shop for your first vibrator together, whether in a store or online. The lines of vibrators we’ve gathered at MiddlesexMD.com are designed especially for women in midlife who need vibrators that will hold a long charge and deliver a strong vibration.
But even with all this information at the ready, one or both of you may be suffering from some vibrator mythology that will make you hesitate to use one of these devices. So let me do a little dispelling:
Myth 1: Vibrators are for people whose relationships aren’t strong — Actually vibrators work best for couples whose intimacy is solid and secure, playful and creative. Introducing a vibrator at our age can awaken those qualities in a strong relationship, and underscore an important lesson, that the nature of our sexuality shifts as we age, period. Accepting that with grace and creativity is important for any partnership.
Myth 2: Vibrators make it hard to have an orgasm any other way — Actually the exact opposite is true. The more orgasms women have, the more easily we can achieve them. Every orgasm helps to strengthen the muscles and nerve pathways that ready us for our next one. While, having easier orgasms with a vibrator may encourage its regular use, no vibrator can ever replace human contact. Women generally crave intimacy first.
Myth 3: Vibrators are for masturbation — While that one is true, vibrators are not only for masturbation. They have gone mainstream among couples who have figured out that vibrators are great for stimulating every erogenous zone, and in addition to the boost they give women, are particularly good for stimulating a man’s prostate. They are great for foreplay, during sex, and for gentle stimulation after intercourse, too.
Myth 4: Vibrators are for sex maniacs — Sex maniacs may like them. But so may your neighbor, your pastor, your doctor, your auto mechanic. We’ve been using electronic vibrators since we harnessed electricity, and they are more mainstream than you might expect.